Close to home

Yesterday I received news that both broke my heart and made my love for Greyson grow even more.  A little guy I'd been seeing for a couple months, who was born a week before Grey passed away last week.  Mom went in to check on him and he wasn't breathing.   They did CPR but he didn't make it.   This is the first client I've lost and with him being so close in age to Greyson, it makes it so hard.  When I first picked him up I thought "this will be interesting to see a child with delays growing up the same time as my little one" and he was really doing so well too! I didn't expect to see him longterm.  I know in my profession - working with kids that have complex medical conditions - this is bound to happen but I was just so shocked with this little guy.  I found out about the funeral today about 30 minutes before it started and cancelled my appointments to go.  I wanted to be there to support mom, especially knowing she doesn't have a huge support system.  It was a really tough funeral and I couldn't help but cry.  I've also been questioning myself (which I know I shouldn't do, but it's pretty impossible).  Did I miss something? A red flag?? Anyway, I feel pretty emotional - my heart and prayers are with this mom and her family, I can't even imagine loosing my baby :(